Proving I’m Dumber Than The Average Bear!
I’m finishing this post on Sunday, September 20th, and yesterday, I had to ride the handicap scooter around the store so MinuteMan andI could buy our groceries. I just did not have the stamina to get around the store and I have done on several other occasions but I think I know why.
Two weeks ago, I decided it was time to get Oxycodone out of my life as much as possible. I quit cold-turkey. Believe me, I do not recommend it to anybody. However, I was actually really ill for only about 24 hours. After that, I started to feel much, much better. Unfortunately, my stamina really went in the dumper. I may have to bite the bullet on Monday and see the doctor.
Bummer About The Job!
At my job, by rule, they could only allow me to work 90 days on modified duty. Unfortunately, Human Resources did not inform me or my boss of the existence of this rule so when I started modified duty on April 6th, my boss and I thought I would be able to continue as long as required. I worked modified duty from April 6th to July 2nd. In May andJune, I was able to work 80 hours for the month and keep my health insurance, which is whyI had decided to try working modified leave in the first place.
On June 28th, Human Resources personnel (neither “human” nor a “resource) informed I would either have to go back to work full time beginning July 5th; I could resume Leave Without Pay (LWOP) status until October 12th or I could quit. I had even less stamina then than I have now and I was literally living on pain killers while I was working. I knew I would not be able to resume working a 40 hour week. In fact, my doctors are all under the impression I will never be recovered enough to work full time again in this life time – too much damage to the back from the three surgeries; 62 years old and currently obese and diabetic. Hmmm, challenges for sure.
I decided to take LWOP and concentrate on doing physical therapy, which I have done with really incredible results. Using a modified blood pressure cuff, which I put under the small of myback or my tummy depending on my position, I use the gage to ensure I’m doing the exercise correctly and I’m maintaining the correct amount of pressure with the targeted muscles. It’s a great way to exercise because you get immediate feedback on whether or not I’m doing the exercise in a way which will reap the greatest benefits.
The really huge difference is on the left side of my lower back. On a day to day basis, I don’t have any pain on the lower left side. The only time I have pain on the left side of my lower back is when I stand for too long. The right side has really improved a lot too but it was the most damaged side so I still have a considerable amount of pain in that area. My whole back is finally showing some real improvement after so long of really despairing of ever being pain-free again.
Some Flexibility Please
The gal that’s been doing my job since I went out for the first operation is a college student and would like to continue doing the job part-time. Obviously, working part-time would be really great for me too. The boss was on vacation at the time but Vanessa and I talked to his secretary just before I left to begin LWOP about setting up my position as a job share . We would split the insurance coverage and other benefits. The secretary thought it was a great idea. Two weeks ago, I asked her again about it and she said she was working with the boss on rewriting the job description and it just had to go past the boss’s boss. The secretary and the boss were under the impression Human Resources would not have to be involved.
Yesterday, my boss told me he wasn’t going to pursue the job share position. He talked to Human Resources and they all decided I would have to return to work full time on October 12th. I knew if Human Resources was ever involved, it would be a no-go. I was heartbroken when I heard this news because last week, the pain specialist and the surgeon both told me going on the job share is about the only way they could see me ever returning to work. They are both certain that sitting 40 hours a week at a computer, which is what I do, would set me back to where I was six months ago and it would be highly unlikely I would ever be off painkillers. I don’t want to beat my body up like that.
I’ve got a call out to the union representative and I’m hoping he’ll have some better information for me but at this time, I’ve decided to let them fire me for medical reasons. The Human Resources woman has already informed me that if I come back to work and I am late for work, take too many sick days or am out too often for any reason, “She’ll be watching me.” If I get fired for medical reasons and against all odds I do get better, I can tell the potential employer my medical issues are cleared up. If she documents me out, which I am sure she is itching to do, it wouldn’t look very good to a new employer. I do not want to take the risk of being documented out.
Rewrite the Story
Well, my dear Fellow Travelers, this blog is all about learning to be a dab hand at employing the Law of Attraction. It’s not about telling the story the way it is but telling the story the way I want it to be and I’m going to do that very soon. First, I want to know exactly what I want the story to be.
One thing I’ve learned in the last year is many things that appear to be negatives have turned out to be very positive. For example, just before I had my first operation, MinuteMan was temporarily assigned from first shift to second shift. I was not happy about it at first and neither was MinuteMan. However, it turned out to be one of the best gifts we could have been given. I had to go to the clinic every other day to have my peripherally inserted central catheter (PICC) line checked and a new bag of antibiotics attached. I had to do that for almost six months. If MinuteMan hadn’t been working nights, I don’t know how I would have gotten to the clinic and the almost-daily doctor visits.
I love this job more than I’ve ever loved any other job, but I may not be meant to return to it. I may be meant to be writing blogs and doing community work. I don’t know but I’m willing to keep an open mind about it. Right this minute, I’m praying to be allowed to return to work on job share. I always finish with the “this or something better” statement so I ensure I allow for the best possible outcome for my life plan.
I’m sure I’ll get to where I’m supposed to be to fulfill my life plan. I just have to be open and inviting for all positive circumstances to show up in my life. Come along with me, Fellow Traveler, and we will find our paths together.